“Now I know who my real friends are.” We’ve probably all heard this; maybe we’ve said it ourselves. I know I’ve thought it. That “Now” can apply to countless situations. The shock, hurt, and often the bitterness conveyed by these words are transparent.
When encountering someone I had lost touch with, the story they share with me is often of an earth-shaking life change: a family death, divorce, illness, becoming a family caregiver. Each circumstance involves upheaval, with increased demands that feel overwhelming. These encounters often end with “Now I know…” A nod, a shrug, affixing a sad smile on my face is about all I can manage to offer.
It’s easy to feel outrage toward those apparently unfeeling friends, family members, or even anonymous government entities who let us down. No matter the level of support we do receive, in these crises, nothing ever feels like it is enough.
I’ve had time to think about this predicament a lot while learning to live in a changed body/changed life myself. Many loved ones did step in (repeatedly). New people entered my life (eventually). And yet, I am able to see how my life has played out only in retrospect. In the midst of big life changes it is usually impossible to imagine anything changing. But it will.
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Marjorie Turner Hollman 